You have learned that someone in your family is serously ill. You want to help the ill person as well as your family. This article will guide you in ways to turn your cares and concerns into positive actions.
The Shock of the News
Learning that someone in your family is seriously ill is a blow to everyone the news touches. We sometimes think this only happens in other families' but now it is happening to yours. If the onset of the illness was sudden or unexpected, you and the rest of your family will likely feel shock and numbness at first. This is a natural and necessary response to painful news.
You can only cope with this new reality in doses. You will first come to understand it with your head, and only over the weeks and even the months to come will you come to understand it with you heart.
Be Style Aware of Your Family's Coping
How you and your family respond to this illness will have a lot to do with how you as a family have related in the past. If your family is used to openly talking about their feelings with each other, they will probably be able to communicate well about the illness and the changes it brings. Families in which people don't talk about feelings and tend to deal with problems individually will probably have difficulty acknowledging the illness and its impacts.
Adjust to Changing Roles
Families sometimes have a hard time adjusting to changing toles the illness makes necessary. If the head of the household is sick, the other spouse may now have to find a job in addition to caring for the home and family. Such changes can alter the ways in which family members interact with each other. They may act short-tempered, overly dependent, stoic or any number of other difficult ways.
Consider Getting Outside Help
Perhaps the most compassionate thing you can do for your family during this stressful time is to reach out for help on their behalf. If someone in your family is caring for the sick person at home, consider hiring a homecare nurse instead. Have groceries delivered. Hire a housekeeper to come in twice a month. Your church or other community organizatiion might be able to provide volunteers to help you with any number of tasks. And family counseling can be a healing, enriching experience that helps family members understand one another now and long after the illness.
Encourage Open Communication, But Do Not Force It
As caring family members, we should encourage honest communication amoung the sick person, caregivers, family and friends. However, we should never force it. People will naturally "dose" themselves as they encounter the reality of the illness in their lives. They aren't able to take in all the information at one, nor will they want to.
What the Seriously Ill Person May be Feeling
Experiencing illness affects a person's head, heart and spirit. While you wouldn't want to prescribe what they might feel, be aware that sick people may experience a variety of emotions. Fear, anxiety, anger, guilt, sadness and loneliness are just a few of the emotions they may feel-one at atime or simultaneously.
These feelings are a natural response to serious illness. Your role as caring family member should be to listen to the sick person's thoughts and feelings without trying to change them. If she is sad, she is sad. Don't try to take that necessary emotion away from her. If she is angry or guilty, that's OK too. You may be tempted to soothe or deny her painful feelings, but a more helpful response is to simply acknowledge them. Listen and understand.
Learn About the Illness
You will be better equipped to help you family member if you take it upon youurself to learn about her illness. Visit yur local library and consult he medical reference books. Request information from educatinal associations, such as the Nationsal Cancer Insstitute or the Canadian Heart and Stroke Foundation. With the patient's permission, you might also talk to her physician.
If you educate yourself about the illness and its treatments, you will be a more understanding listener when the sick person wants to talk. You will also be able to help the family as a whole better understand what is happening.
Help Family Members Tend to Their Needs
When a family member is seriously ill, he or she becomes the focal point for the family. Suddenly everyone is concerned about that one person and his survival. This is normal, yet it leaves a great physical and emotional burden on everyone involved.
Family members should not lose sight of their own needs during this diffucult time. Encourage everyone to nuture themselves as well as the sick person. Get enough rest. Eat balanced meals. Lighten schedules as much as possible.
Though the family is experiencing a serious time, they should still give themselves permission to be happy. Plan fun events. Take vacations, together or seperately. Allow a time to laugh, love and enjoy life.
Embrace Your Spirituality
If your faith is part of your family's life, express it in ways that seem apprpriate to you. Singly or thogether, you may find comfort and hope in reading spiritual texts, attending religious services or praying. Allow yourselves to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If some amoung you are at God because of the illness, realize that this is a normal and naural response. Try not to be critical of whatever thoughts and feeling each of you need to explore.
Batesville Management Services 1995 and the Auther Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt provided this information
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